My name is Ana, I'm 36, and I live in New Zealand. I have an 18 month old son and live with my partner Brent.
I don’t know exactly when my kundalini journey started, but it’s probably been over the past 8 years. I don’t have a definite event to start from as I never had what you people call a full spinal sweep. I guess I would have been having a slow style k awakening...and that’s okay with me!
I started seriously spiritually searching after a bout with depression and burnout. I read everything i could get my hands on to do with spirituality, personal growth etc. I started meditating, surrounding myself with white light every night in bed until I could feel the vibrations starting to lift. I visualised the chakras filling with their various colours ascending the spine a few times. I also started doing hatha- iyengar yoga for well being, having no idea what it was leading to.
Pretty soon while meditating, or relaxing I stated to get kriyas, my mouth started to contort into grimaces etc. I thought I was turning into a chaneller. Then the jerks turned into large groups of muscles clenching, spinal stiffening, the energy travelled around my body, from moment to moment, filling different cells. I had lots of sensation around the crown chakra, and the weird feeling of something being -gently- in my ear.
Soon the muscle clenching turned into whole body clenching accompanied by a fair amount of discomfort as I knew it was healing my back problems. Extremely forceful hand positions followed. I found sheer physical force of the energy awesome and overwhelming but knew intuitively it was beneficial. I still struggle to convey to people how it feels to have this active in you, struggling with the fear, exhilaration, awe, gratitude, every feeling you can imagine.
In these early days I thought I was going to explode, and uncomfortably- references to spontaneous combustion popped into my head but I can laugh about these fears now. Once the energy made its initial forays through my body it seemed to come in a much more subtle way. My body now assumed yoga positions in a way that was way more graceful and easier than any time when I had tried to do it. It also progressed into operations on my aura, using my hands. It now seems to be working somewhere between by heart and my throat. I think I must have had a lot of clearing to do as this is still going on to this day. There are episodes of bliss and plenty of other surprises happening frequently. Now I am trying to use it to help or heal other people as well although i still have a lot to learn on that path. The energy seems encouraging in that direction.
I am also using it to help me select good foods, healing tools, activities for the day even! I've been using it to help me cook really yummy meals, cooking is exciting now! I am hoping in this way I am able to channel it into my life as much as I can so that eventually it becomes second nature, and my life becomes an expression of kundalini. Already my life has altered immensely and it feels great! I too have cleaned up my life, having spent a good many years drinking and indulging in drugs. Kundalini is helping me to only put clean things into my body, mind and spirit. Some of my biggest struggles are still around letting go of these old parts of myself and sometimes I still cling to them. Many people around me don’t find the changes that have occurred within me convenient to them. I struggle with loneliness sometimes as people don’t really understand what it is I am going through, including people who are knowledgeable about spirituality. Despite this, I look forward to the next surprise that the kundalini has in store for me...
There are episodes of bliss and plenty of other surprises happening frequently. Now I am trying to use it to help or heal other people as well although i still have a lot to learn on that path. The energy seems encouraging in that direction.