I was always rather psychic as a child, making predictions, having precognitive dreams. I come from a family strong in psychic females. I have always had "experiences", be it ghosts, dreams, predictions, etc. When I was about 10 years old, I fell skating and cracked my tailbone. When I was twelve years old, I hemorrhaged badly and had a NDE (near death experience) which left me feeling like an alien in my own life, with friends and family. After this experience, I started what I call "zoning". I would go "somewhere else" easily, sometimes hearing voices or seeing visions. I could go so far inward that I would not hear, see or smell anything around me. I've always joked that someone could plan a murder right next to me and I would never know it! Through my teen years I became more interested in metaphysics. I joined The Metaphysics Center of NJ where I encountered many enlightened people. I thoroughly enjoyed the classes, meditations, experiences I had with this group. I started reading Tarot cards for friends and family.
At the age of 19, I slipped on the top step of a flight of stairs and slid down bumping my tailbone on each everloving step! About an hour later, I couldn't sit and was in pain for days. After this, as I was meditating I would hear clangs, gongs and voices. I had no idea what this could be. I started doing "automatic writing" using a word processor and a lot of my predictions came true. I should have listened to what was coming out as it was warning me of things to come. But when we are young...
At this point, I got involved with my future (now ex) husband. We had been friends for a number of years and fell into a relationship. It was long distance to start and very exciting. I moved to where he was and started my new life. Soon, the peace was shattered with his verbal abuse and tantrums. He would always break down and apologize, promise to get help. I kept hanging on. Soon all my gifts were gone. My intuition left me, I couldn't read Tarot any more, I was flying blind. I became very depressed. My husband's best friend was in love with me and I started falling for him as well. Neither of us was willing to be a cheater and it went on in silence for years. As my husband's abuse became more apparent, they almost got into physical fights over his mistreatment of me. At one point, the only thing that made my life bearable was the fact that T* cared about me and was my defender. I lived to spend time with him even if we couldn't be together. I hoped some day that we would be able to get together. Then T* decided that he could no longer stand the way things were and he stopped coming around. I was sick to my stomach and fell into a deeper depression than I ever had in my life. I cried myself to sleep every night. There were days that I wanted to kill my husband or wished him dead. That was the lowest I have ever been and I am ashamed to admit that. (I have never spoken of this to anyone before.) I kept hoping that T* was going to "save me" and I blamed him for deserting me. One day, my best friend said to me "Sarita, wake the #@$# up! T* isn't going to save you, YOU have to save yourself!!" She brought me to tears, but she was right! I started meditating again. In looking back through my journal, during a meditation in 1997 I received the word "Kundalini". At the time, I did not know what it meant and I obviously forgot to look it up. Shakti was calling me since I was 19 and again at 27 and I didn't know it until last year at 36! During my meditations, I received guidance that I had to leave my husband and start my life over. I spent a week taking care of my dying grandmother in another state. The profound peace I found while there was something I wasn't willing to give up ever again, it was something I wanted to have inside all the time. A few months later, I asked my husband to leave. I filed for divorce. I was having a hard time dealing with the details of a divorce and the financial problems so I went to a therapist. He helped me get myself together and soon told me I didn't really need him anymore. He did offer me one final piece of advice that changed my life. He told me what to look for in a mate and advised me to make a list of all the things that were mandatory, things that were optional and things that I absolutely would not put up with. He said "How can you find Mr Right if you don't recognize him?" So I set pen to paper and made my list. Three months later, I met my soul mate and we have been together ever since. We now have a beautiful daughter together and just celebrated 10 years together in October of 2007.
My grandmother died in 2000. Several months before, I had a vision while driving home from work. It was superimposed over my vision. It is a long involved story, but what I at first thought was a ghost turned out to be my spirit guide Mekala introducing herself. We developed a relationship over time and all the information I received from her came true or was correct. She has never led me wrong. Life after marriage and baby became busy and I felt as though I was in a hamster wheel. There was no time for spiritual pursuits and I pushed it in the background.
In February of 2006 I started having precognitive dreams about a car accident. Then Mekala showed up one day dressed in black, looking very serious. She showed me my car all twisted up, warned me to wear my seatbelt (I was very lax about that) and showed me a 2 and a 3. The date ended up being 2-13 and my car looked scarily like the vision. I was hit by a truck carrying cement dividers that blew a red light. The last thing I saw was the front of a truck in my face and then it was lights out. I woke up in the car all crushed up, unable to move with paramedics leaning over me. They warned me that there would be a loud noise as they cut the car open, but I passed out again. I woke up in the ER and my long road began. I spent a week in the trauma unit and 5 weeks in a rehab facility. I had a head injury, broke 3 ribs, both shoulders, my left pelvis/hip and lumbar spine. I received healing from the OBE group that I know helped me get through my rehab easier. It is where I first met Stephen (Master Condrey) and he sent me healing and cheered me up. I barely knew him and yet he and many others from the OBE group were so kind it brought tears to my eyes. Slowly, I started having more psychic experiences and more precognitive dreams. I was forced to slow down because of my accident and it helped me to take stock and realize that things had to change. I had debilitating migraines and back/hip pain long after my accident. I was on all kinds of drugs and couldn't get through the day without 3-4 Vicodin. I was scheduled to have Radiofrequency ablation on the nerves in my lumbar spine to stop the pain. I started having pre-OOB symptoms while awake. I had vibrations, felt as though I was about to separate from my body, heard sounds and became very ill at times which caused me to throw up. I posted this on the OBE group and Chrism suggested I join the K group, he said the Safeties would help with my symptoms. I was so grateful! I wanted this stuff to stop. I started the Safeties and as soon as I did the finger and tongue locks, I felt a thrumming start in my base chakra radiating upwards! I panicked and stopped immediately. I emailed Chrism and told him it wasn't working. He saw it differently, LOL. I said I just wanted this all to go away, I couldn't get involved in this right now because I had too much going on. I soon got the message that this WAS happening, like it or not. I didn't know what to do. Claudia and I started chatting and we were so scared of the K! I emailed Brad in a panic and he reassured me in his calm reasonable way. I realized that my symptoms were not stopping and that I had a decision to make. There was a Shaktipat coming up (March 2007) and I decided to just take the plunge! Within the first few days of Shaktipat I was healed of my back/hip pain. One day I was popping Vicodin like candy, the next I didn't need it at all. I quit cold turkey after over a year of constant use! A few days later, the debilitating migraines went. I experienced dreams every day of Shaktipat and much phenomena. I had energy flowing through my body in the middle of the night, I saw light where there was none, I had an OBE where I felt as though all the cells in my body would scatter, I felt as though there was a serpent twisting inside me and the movement was independent of my body. Soon after mediumship skills showed up. I was terrified of this at first, but Brad (my grounding force always) and Claudia helped me to feel better about it. I had a few very successful communications and I got more comfortable with the gift. Mediumship is something I have always feared, so I found it ironic that it was the first new gift I received.
I have grown in many ways since my car accident. I truly believe that I made an "agreement" to be in the accident, that it was the catalyst that finally led me to the Kundalini. I have been heading for this path in one way or another for many years. It is through all this that I have come to look at my accident as a blessing.
My journey continues in this amazing group and I look forward to what happens next!
I have grown in many ways since my car accident.
... it was the catalyst that finally led me to the Kundalini.