The will and the ego are in many ways very difficult to get a handle on and it isn't a judgment about the person trying to do this. This is a task that all Kundalini people come into. One of the recurrent themes of an awakening that I have seen. It isn't typically an easy task as we are so ego oriented in the western societies.
Just as some people lose themselves in the egotistic forms of personal comparisons to a divine personage or as an authority on a specific activity, the "ego and will" can take on many different perspectives in our lives. Many of these areas are expected and completely supported by our present day civilizations.
Doctors and Attorneys and government figures having ascribed qualities of expression and expectation from the public that is different than the expectations ascribed to the waitress or grocery clerk or farmer. Sometimes a more exalted status.
So it is no easy task at times and a little here or a little there as you can begin to actively manifest a surrender of the ego (not the death) and its importance in our lives will help one to see through these societal definitions of self worth.
These expectations can be addictive. They represent accepted levels of power and the structures that support that power with in society. Addiction is a choice. It is a form of wilfulness that exchanges short term gain for long term damage. In many cases. Not speaking in absolute terms here as other factors can come into expression.
Try to see yourself as a singularity of the creative or divine expression. Not better and not lesser than anyone else. A balanced personal self worth. This can have the effect of eliminating the need for competition or dominance or servitude. This perspective can help you "get out of your own way" with regards to the Kundalini as it is a balanced form in its expression. From that personal platform will the flow be able to increase without causing pain inside of those parameters. - blessings - chrism
Try to see yourself as a singularity of the creative or divine expression.
Not better and not lesser than anyone else. A balanced personal self worth.